Television

I don`t know if I`ve mentioned this before, but Japanese TV is bad. I mean really really really bad. Like, so bad that a) they import Korean and Russian soap-operas and subtitle them (sometimes they don`t actually) and b) the adverts are easily the best bits.

If you`re thinking "Yea, but stuff like Takeshi`s Castle etc is amazing", well, yea, it is, but for one thing they don`t show it anymore and two the newest version is only shown on Sundays. Everything else is either this one Japanese soap opera about Okinawa (apparently everyone wears Hawaiian shirts down there) or endless game shows where celebrity`s (at least I think they`re celebrities) sit around eating or just generally looking pretty. Usually while eating.

And for the second richest country in the world everything looks really really cheap and low-budget (except the adverts which I`ll get to later...)

Seriously, I`m not asking for much Japan! You don`t even have to make up new stuff! Just rip of the Americans! Mind you, as Chris pointed out a Japanese version of 24 just wouldn`t work. Here`s an example of why:

Biiru Byukanen: Everybody, gather round, we have a situation. Terrorists have smuggled a nuclear weapon into Tokyo and are threatening to detonate it in 3 hours. We have to stop them. Unfortunatly, due to cultural obligations, we must spend the next 30 minutes discussing meaningless chit-chat before anything business oriented can be decided upon. Who wants to go first?

Tonii Arumeidaa: Well, my wife`s dead and I feel a bit crap about that to be honest...

Kuroii OuBuraian: Oh, how terrible for you... I really sympathise... By the way, does anyone know why I`m dressed as a hostess?

Biiru Byukanen: Oh, and one more thing, Jyaaku, this is particularly aimed at you; Group consensus is our number one priority, so no running off and saving the day by yourself like you did in practically every other day. Remember season 5 and the good bits of season 7 where we all worked as a team? That`s the sort of stuff that`s expected of us and if you don`t do it you will have to make a lengthy apology to everyone in CTU whom you let down by sorting everything out by yourself.

Jyaaku Baawaa: I understand. By the way, speaking of season 7, arn`t you supposed to be...?

Biiru Byukanen: Saa, minor details... Oh, and everyone, remember that at the end of the day we`re all obliged to be at the bar to get totally trashed with President Teiraa and Agent Piasuu, no matter how shot/ infected/ dead we are! No excuses!

Japanese TV`s one redeeming feature: Adverts! Seriously, Japanese adverts are amazing! In contrast to the actual TV shows, they`re actually really well made and look like they have a pretty enormous budget. Also, having some random person wander around a room asking if you want to sue someone for something that was blatantly your fault in the first place isn`t considered quite good enough here. You need at least a dance routine, disco-pop soundtrack and lots of flashing stuff. Either that or some samurai either with anachronistic product placement (like bottled green tea or PSPs) or a really famous person eating/drinking something will do instead.

Here`s a link to my current favourite:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipTUblPXzE4

It`s now my mission to find this chewing gum and see if it actually makes you and everyone around you dance (not to mention the famous local symbols get up and join in. In case you didn`t know, the second one (with the guy) is supposed to be in Nara, which is famous for having loads of deer randomly wandering around. The first one is Akita but I don`t really know much about there because it`s at the other end of the country. )

Oh, and we had a halloween party at the weekend. And tomorrow is a national holiday (Culture day apparantly...) so I think we`re off to Nara to see the deer :-)