My new cunning plan

There's been a small technical hitch with my magic sunglasses: The Weather. When I first arrived it was bright sunshine and hot and sticky, but for the past few day's it's become quite cloudy, though just a little bit cooler. So now, I'm stuck with the choice of having everyone stare at me/ ignore me because I'm obviously a foreigner, or just having everyone staring at me because I'm the only one wearing sunglasses in the rain (or inside for that matter)... I can't win :-(

I've also been pretending to be German to stop people from constantly speaking to me in unintelligible English. Only problem with this is I occasionally have to explain my way out of "forgetting" words in my "native" language... (I did try to use the excuse that I had lived in the UK for a long time, but then they of course realised that this meant I understood English. I've also had to bluff my way through a conversations with a restaurant keepers about German football teams and beer...)

Speaking of foreign stuff, there were loads of Russians here yesterday for some reason. And today, I was walking in Motomachi and saw about 5 foreigners in about 2 mins! What's up with that? Get lost people! I'm the only gaijin in this village! Get you're own!

This afternoon I was up in Kitano, a bit lost looking for the Ichinomiya shrine, and so I checked the a roadside map. While I was doing so, a random American woman was walking by and asked (In English) "What ya lookin for? Maybe I can help ya?"(I guess she lives here), so I replied in Japanese, which she just ignored. I said again in English that I was looking for the shrine, to which she replied "Oh, sorry, I just ignore all the shrines" (And the Japanese language it seems)

Oh, and I found the source of all the Gucci bags, turns out there is a store here, (Incidentally, someone should tell Gucci about this as well, it's not on their website. It's next to Yves Saint Laurent in case you were interested.). Apparently there is a Comme de Garcons here as well, or so I was told by a shop assistant in Hankyu Department store (Hankyu also run half the trains in Kobe for some reason), but I'm still looking for that :-(

Oh, and I was the only one in a noodle restaurant for lunch this afternoon so the owners and I had a nice little chat about stuff :-) The man was particularly interested about Europe, though only because there are blonde girls there lol

Oh, and another run in with Japanese primary/high school kids, who are quickly becoming a mortal foe. This time I was walking behind a bunch of them, who, as soon as they saw me, literally RAN to the side of the pavement to get out of my way...

Oh, and I'm still working on a solution to the evil "No Irasshaimase for you" shop assistants (met another one in Urban Research in Sannomiya). I'm sort of tempted to either say お客様は神様だよ ("The honoured customer is a god in case you've forgotten", 'The honoured customer is a god' is a sort of catchphrase for how to treat customers) or maybe something like　お前！「いらっしゃいませ」 といお！ which is something along the lines of "Oi, you! Say it goddamit!, but I think that might be a little undiplomatic, so I'm going to ask Mayuko-san for some advice (we're meeting for kaitenzushi (sushi-go-round) this evening :-))

P.S Does anybody have any idea why Japanese TV has Japanese subtitles?

Magic Sunglasses

I've made a strange observation. It might just be my sunglasses, but whenever I wear them random people on the street will hand me things the same way they do that in the UK, but they won't if I'm not wearing them. Also, people just generally stare a bit less and seem more normal when I'm around if I have them on. Given what happened with the Americans the other day I'm starting to think of these glasses as a kind of instant Japanese makeover kit.

Speaking of not blendingin, I was in Starbucks this morning, and some other random foreigner (British accent) waltzed up to the counter and says "I'd like two medium latte's please" just as if he was in the UK. I don't really know what it was but it really annoyed me that he wasn't in the least bit embarrassed that he hadn't made a shred of effort to learn even a word of Japanese, and then just decided it was the Starbuck's girl's responsibility to work things out. It was even more annoying that he seemed to get his order :-( And I was having such a lovely holiday from British insularity up until then...

Anyway, I went shopping today! I bought a bag (I had to leave all mine in the UK) and a top. These will do absolutely nothing to make me look more like a local given they were from British makes but never mind... (also, I think there is a rather intrinsic fatal flaw in that plan anyway). Anyway, as I mentioned before, Japanese service is absolutely amazing, but I was in Marui (a department store here. It's name is written OIOI, because "maru" is Japanese for circle. Unfortunately nobody explained this to me for ages so I kept calling it "oy-oy"), anyway this one sales assistant just sort of looked at me when I wandered into his area. No "Irasshaimase" or anything, and then just sort of hangs around following me as if to help, but still not saying anything. I've given up bothering about the fact that everybody assumes I can't understand them but it just annoyed me that he was being like that. If I had been a Japanese customer he would never have dreamed of not bothering with "Irasshaimase".

Anyway, apart from that guy everyone else was amazing, although there are a few things i didn't know about the little rituals about buying clothes and stuff (this doesn't apply to food etc), for example, once you've paid, the assistant walks out of the shop with you and then gives you your bag at the door. Also, I don't know how quickly Japanese people can get dressed, but it changing rooms I was given about 5 seconds before the assistant asked me if I wanted the item. In one case I hadn't even got my own jumper off before she asked "Ikagadesuka?". She was really nice though, we had a little chat about stuff, and incomprehensible-English-syndrome only made a brief appearance :-)

Oh, and I've been meaning to mention this for ages but keep forgetting, I've got photos on Photobucket at http://s913.photobucket.com/albums/ac337/thomasarnot/

"Authentic French pastries", Japanese Style

This post will be shorter than last, I promise.

I was in a little patiserie in Sannomiya this afternoon (I wasn't actually particularly looking for anything, so I was able to find this) and there were all these really odd Japanese "interpretations" of European cakes and breads, I had a "Chocolat French" as it was called, which was brioche with chocolate chips twisted like a croissant, but there were other really weird ones like hot rolls with okonomiyaki sauce ( i think) and dried fish scales on top, and the "Danish Pastries" were like nothing you've ever seen before.

Oh, and they like Ice here. You can get seriously ANY drink you could possibly imagine in Iced form here, like Cappuccino, latte, hot-chocolate, milk, any colour of tea, hibiscus syrup and milk (I had that today up the mountain, it was actually really good), and then you can get little pots of sugar syrup to sweeten it up if you want.

Oh, speaking being able to find stuff you arn't looking for at that particular time, I wandered across Kobe's Prada, Giorgio Armani, Issey Miyake, Fendi (two of them) Dolce and Gabbana (and D&G next door to it), Louis Vuitton (2 of them again, though one sells the bags, the other has the clothes), Hermes and Dior/Dior Homme stores (But annoyingly Comme de Garcons is only in Osaka). No Gucci either, which is a bit odd given how many of the bags you see around the place (And most are real as well...). ( I also found Uniqlo and Zara in Sannomiya-Centre and a Starbucks (in a bank!). Starbucks here has an extra drink size (small) and different food from the UK... No doubt all of these places exist in that special Japanese dimension that disappears when you actually want to find it again.

First two proper days

So, it's the afternoon of my second proper day in Japan (Thursday evening doesn't really count as I was only semi-conscious and busy trying to process the whole new world I've landed it.) .

First day I went "sight-seeing" in Kobe, which really means I wandered around aimlessly until bumped into something interesting. As it was, I ended up going to Higashiyuenchi Park, where the memorial to the 1995 earthquake is. They also have fountains there which turn on when you come close because there are motion detectors hidden in the sculptures and trees. After that I went to try and find Meriken Park and Harbourland, which are down by the harbour, but couldn't actually find them (although I later found out I was actually IN Meriken Park...), wandered through the really really really long shopping streets in Motomachi and Sannomiya (So long I'd actually given up finding the end of it.) and down into Nankinmachi which is Kobe's Chinatown which is really cool and totally different to the rest of Kobe. After lunch I wandered up to Kitano, which is up on the slopes of the mountains north of the city (Kobe is sandwiched between mountains to the north and the Inland Sea to the south, so is only about 3 km wide). Kitano is famous for having quite a lot of European style mansions and townhouses, due to it being the American and Dutch trading port before Japan opened up to the outside world. Apparently these are considered very exotic for the Japanese, though I was somewhat less impressed.

One thing you notice quickly is there are vending machines EVERYWHERE, like, literally, at least 3 on every street, usually a lot more. They also sell self heating coffee cans, which I havn't actually tried yet but will get round to at some point. Anyway, there are loads of pretty much everything else as well, but despite this for some reason whenever I've actually been specifically looking for anything I've never been able to find one, for example, yesterday I wanted a vending machine to get a drink from (it's quite hot and sweaty here, for me at least). Could I find one? No. Same with Udon restaurants for lunch yesterday. I found a million French and Italian places, but it took me literally an hour to find a noodle bar in all of Kitano, Sannomiya, Nankinmachi and Motomachi. This happened to me again today, when I went looking for a kaitenzushi place (conveyor-belt sushi restaurant). Actually, I havn't really seen many sushi places at all.

Anyway, at lunch yesterday I was in the what was apparently the only noodle bar in Kobe at 1400 on a Friday, and as soon as I sit down they immediately give me an English menu which didn't have as much stuff in it as the Japanese menu (I found that on my table just after I ordered :-(). Mind you, this woman did ask me if I could read English when she gave it to me, so at least she didn't just assume I was American :-) (Which happens a lot) On the subject of restaurants and shops, I have to say Japanese service puts the rest of the world to shame, you get free water and green tea, which they come to your table every few minutes or so to refill your cup, and everybody shouts "Irasshaimase" (welcome) when you arrive.

One annoying thing though, is that people try to speak to me in English. Most people can't but even if they "can" it's usually very bad, and really difficult to understand. It would actually be so much easier and quicker for both of us if they would just speak Japanese (not to mention better for my practice). Even when I reply in Japanese (or even ask them to begin with), they keep on speaking that way grrr. Oh, and EVERYONE assumes you can't read a thing.

Today I decided to brave not only the train system, but also the subway and monorail! I went up to Shin-kobe station (up in Kitano, it's where the bullet trains stop) this morning to get the cable car up the mountain and walk down (there are some famous waterfalls and it's really pretty, not to mention nice for it to be so easy to get out of the city in 5 minutes- beat that Tokyoites!). Anyway, the subway exit drops you in the 3rd basement of a big shopping/appartment complex and it took me a lot of wandering around the seaweed aisles of "Gourmet city" to find a way out. Anyway, I eventually find the cable car (which has air con, and stops half-way up for them to open the doors and blow cool air in!) and walk down the mountain through these gardens. About half way down literally the funniest thing since the "Look! A foreigner" incident happens to me. Some random American couple with a slightly odd twinge to their accents are just behind me, so I ask them if they're Russian-Americans (turned out they were German-Americans), and so just after that the guy say's to me: "You speak really good English for a Japanese guy"! I mean, I was wearing sunglasses, but still! Oh well, at least now I can say I've been taken for American by Japanese people and Japanese by Americans...

Oh, and speaking of English, I was walking through Shin-Kobe station and an entire class of little Japanese primary school kids start shouting "Erro!" at me until their teacher tells them off for being rude to the foreigner lol.

Anyway, one last thing, I went to Rokko Island (which the guidebook says is considered a "foreign ghetto"; I saw 3 westerners... and went to visit the Kobe Fashion museum, which must have paid Lonely Planet a lot of money to get themselves such a hyped up description in the book, but it did have a couple of pieces from the actual designers (mostly the French ones,like dresses actually designed by Gabriel Chanel, Christian Dior, Jeanne Lanvin and Hubert de Givenchy, who was called Givenbcy on the English blurb lol)

Oh, and there are some frikkin MASSIVE spiders in Japan.

Arrival: Sleep deprivation, heat and toilets.

Well, here I am. I made it! One completely uneventful plane ride later and here I am. Got completely paranoid about the immigration desk, convincing myself that there was some reason they would find to through me back on the plane and back home, though of course everything went fine, and Mayuko was waiting at arrivals to meet me (after having fallen asleep on the bus so she said). First Impression number 1: Osaka and Kobe are BIG. I really mean it. Everything is massive and has another layer of motorways or trains running over the top of it, all of which weave around the really tall buildings. The roads are massive to, like, 8 lanes sort of width right through Sannomiya (Kobe's central district). You don't even notice it though because everything is so massive it just seems in proportion. Didn't manage to get any pics this evening because I was with people, but I'll get some up soon. Now, first impression no. 2: There are Japanese people in Japan. Lots of them. I know this is pretty obvious, and I really don't know what I was expecting, but I'm not exaggerating when I say that about 99% of the people here are Japanese. Makes a bit of a change from the multiracial UK. Actually I'm going to admit to a slightly amusing/worrying thing that happened earlier. Just walking up to one of the (many) Sannomiya train/metro/subway stations (I predict this may be a source of major mishaps in the future), I saw some random Westerner and whispered excitedly to Mayuko "Hey look, a foreigner! Wow" To which laughed and pointed out "You know, that's what WE'RE supposed to say, not you!". Should I be worried about that?

Now, The Hotel. Lesson 1: Learn to speak Japanese properly so you don't misunderstand the receptionist's questions and don't answer "Oh no, I'm fine with Japanese food." when she asks if you want a receipt. First Impression no.3: Everything seems works exactly as it seems perfectly obvious for it to do so, so long as you have spent you're life in Japan. Case in point, my room key, which has a key (oddly enough) and a long bit of plastic with room numbers and stuff on it. Anyway, I get to my room after a quick unpack, find there is no power in my room. Obviously something's up here, and I'm quickly working out how I could potentially explain this to the receptionist in a way that might incline her to reply with something I might understand, when Mayuko nonchalantly mentions "check for a hole in the wall near the door." Turns out what you do is plug the plastic part of the key chain into the wall, which somehow turns all the power on. Given the complete lack of any sort of indication about what either the little slot in the wall or the plastic lump on my key chain were supposed to do, I can only wonder how long that would have taken me to figure that out on my own...

Now, the Japanese Bathroom. I feel this subject deserves more than a paragraph, but I actually haven't slept now for about 60 hours or so, so I'll be brief. The shower and the sink tap are the same thing, there is a weird little pull out string in the shower which Mayuko eventually explained (after I wondered for about 10 mins) is a drying line (which is actually a really good thing to have in a hotel bathroom come to think about it), and The Toilet. Compared with some photos I've seen, this one looks a little "primitive" for want of a better word, but it still took me ages to even work up the courage to go near the thing, never mind use it. It flushes automatically when you sit down (which I really don't understand) and then it's got a little control panel for the "squirter" under the seat, but unfortunately I can't actually think of any words to actually describe what this feels like to use. It also has a normal flush, but it actually took me ages to find this because it was actually in the place you'd actually expect it to be.

Oh, I forgot the aircon! I LOVE THIS THING! It's pretty hot here but this thing has a remote with about a billion settings on it to make it just how you like :-)

Went out for dinner later that evening with Mayuko, Ryota and a couple of their friends, where I discovered Japan's "interesting" prices when it comes to food and drink. Interesting as in set menu dinner (noodles, rice, tonkatsu (stuff battered in breadcrumbs), salad and dessert-some kind of sweet scrambled egg which I didn't eat after having had omelet twice on the plane) all for 1100 yen (about£8), and a ginger ale in a bar for 500 yen (about £4).

The Trip, part 1

Well, I made it through Heathrow, where Mum decided she'd make things as embarrassing as possible and kept hauling over random strangers to take pictures of us before I left. Also decided that from now on I am going to avoid Heathrow like the plague, did not like it one bit.

Flight down here to Hong Kong (Where I'm writing this at the moment, last flight to Osaka leaves in 3 hours yay!) with Cathay Pacific was fine, was having a nice chat with some random Australian woman as one does until some random guy (wearing a fake Prada shirt) sat down between us and promptly killed the conversation for the next 11.5 hours. Watched Star Trek, Iron Man, Terminator Salvation and a bit of an episode of Mad Men, as well as some weird Japanese tv show about restaurants in Kyoto, which mostly consisted of this woman screaming "Oishii!!!!" (Tasty) though the headphones for an hour, so it wasn't too bad. Food.. hmmm, well, I've now ended up having Omlette for breakfast (courtesy of British Airways) and Dinner/Breakfast just before we got to Hong Kong (It's 7am here at the moment, but we left at 1200 UK time, so we had Lunch just after leaving and then Breakfast just before arriving.) . I didn't have to have Omlette but I wasn't really in the mood for Seafood Congee (fish porridge incase you didn't know), that and I figure I was allowed a last western breakfast for a while

This leads me on to another point. If this is all starting to seem a little bit rambling, it may have something to do with the fact that I have had practically no sleep for the past 48 hours :-( This is of course not a situation aided by the fact that my night has entirely disappeared due to the Far East's +8 hour time difference. Just to add insult to injury, I'll be photographed when I arrive at Japanese Immigration when I get to Osaka in err... (looks at very nice new watch) 7 hours (add another hour of time difference as well) . This is not a picture I'm looking forward to having on permanent file with the Japanese government.

Oh, and I'm currently phone-less (even if you were willing to pay for the international call), so don't bother calling my old number.

Right, I think I'll go and find some food....